Thursday, 10 February 2011

Two Accidents and a Brain Tumour...

Sounds like a movie title eh?
Well, in actual fact this was how my day turned out on February 3rd 2011.

On the bright side (you'll quickly learn I only "do" bright sides by the way) hopefully that's my three things out of the way.  They say bad news happens in threes, right?  I think I qualify for NO MORE bad news for the forseeable future anyway!  Plus being everything happened on the third day of the month too I reckon I've definitely had my quota now. :)

So, what on earth am I woffling on about I hear you ask?  I think the easiest way to explain will be some form of time line (I've tried to archive them by month to break them up) so just click on each month below to read:


And this brings me to the fateful day this whole Blog is in relation to.....


It's 7am and I'm awoken to the distant ramblings of my local radio station on the clock radio.  God, my head is POUNDING but I must try to wake up and get my two kiddiwinks ready for school.  Thankfully they are no longer the 10lb ish babies I mentioned earlier and being nine and ten they are usually pretty good at getting going in the mornings.  The news today filters somewhat hazily into my tinnitus ridden, dodgy ears.  Something about a really bad accident on the A18.  Must remember to phone hubby and warn him there will likely be tailbacks for miles from the sounds of it.  He travels this road daily as a Transporter Driver you see so perhaps my warning will enable him to take a different route thus avoiding the gridlock.  It must be bad, they've closed the entire side the motorway.

It's now 8am and as I get the kids' breakfasts ready my mobile phone leaps into action.  Bit wierd.  Hubby knows not to phone at this time as it takes me ages to function in the mornings lately and he knows I'll be mega busy organising the kids for school etc....

"Hi babe, I'm OK.  Please don't panic but I've been in an accident - but I'm TOTALLY fine".

The floor feels liquid beneath my feet.  I need to sit down before I fall down.  I swear I can feel my heartbeat in my mouth.....

It transpires the accident was actually involving the love of my life.  He assured me over and over again that he was "fine" but I know what he's like.  He wouldn't want to worry me you see so I'm finding it hard to believe he's fine when I've just listened to all this on the radio! He confirms, yes, it is the same accident.  A bloody nasty one by all accounts!  It is a pure MIRACLE that nobody was seriously hurt.  The call ends and I can't help but feel what a close call that could've been.  If anything ever happened to him my world would end.  He's my soulmate.  BUT!.... no point thinking about what could've happened, just thank our lucky stars it didn't.

I decide not to tell him I'll be calling the GP this morning.  The last thing he needs is to worry about me, bless him.  So I place my call to the Doctor's and ask to see my GP in the afternoon.  I might add I'm unable to drive any more due to the Paresthesia and strange problems with my eyesight.  I go dizzy if I move my eyes too far left or right and can't look upwards properly so with this in mind I need an appointment later in the day so hubby can drive me there.

The Receptionist answers and as soon as I give her my name says:  "Oh, yes, you're phoning about your MRI results aren't you?  You got our letter then?". 

Letter?  What letter?.....

I explain I haven't receied any letter and am told I should've had it by now as it was sent out 1st Class on Tuesday.  Today is Thursday but post here is always late for some reason.  The appointment is booked for 5.20pm.  It isn't until the phone goes down that I'm able to process the fact that my results are back, and in fact were delivered URGENTLY to my Doctor within 48 hours.  Only a matter of hours until I find out what on earth is wrong with me.  I can't shake the feeling it's probably NOT a trapped nerve as things are moving super quick.

After lunch I phone hubby to let him know I'm popping to the Doc's at 5.20pm and am just checking he will be home in time to take me etc.  Sure enough, he'll be home.  I tell him I'd originally called as I felt a bit iffy during the night (no need to worry him with the details after his stressful morning) and coincidentally found out my results are back already.  I can sense worry over the phone so try to reassure him I'll be fine and at least I'll finally be a step closer to finding out what's happening to me. :)

Time ticks on and soon it's gone 4.30pm, about half an hour after when hubby should've been home.  I decide I'll have to phone him as my Doctor's surgery is some 4-5 miles from here and it will be rush hour so I need to leave asap.

"Are you sitting down?" he says.
"I take it I need to be?" I reply hesitantly.
"I've had another accident." he laughs.

The sheer fact that he laughs is a good sign, right?  I ask him if he's joking and he says he's not.  This time he was a passenger in the lorry (his boss thought it best he didn't drive for the rest of the day in case he suffered dwelayed shock from the first accident) and a white vehicle ploughed into the back of the lorry before tearing off up the motorway!  Neither he nor his colleauge (the driver) are hurt - again.  My head can't take much more today lol.  He tells me due to this unbelievable news he won't be home in time to take me there but he'll be there to take me home.  So I ask his dad to give me a lift and the plan is hubby will hopefully be there in time to take me back home...

I enter the Doctor's room.  It's the other GP again (not my main one).  They are both lovely but very different.  My usual one is quite kindly and approachable whereas this one is more direct and straight to the point.  I like both qualities but today I'm ready for the straight to the point so that's good! :)

He asks me to take a seat.  He gets up my radiologist's report on the screen and turns to me before saying..."I don't want you to worry too much but they've found a tumour."  He then tells me to read the report for myself.  It's a long report, full of gobbledeygook which I do not understand.  The words I do understand leap out at me almost as if they're shouting "Tumour of the Pineal Gland.....Seems to be of Low Grade.....Probably Benign...." etc etc.

I look back at the Doctor and say "so it's not a trapped nerve then?".  He says unfortunately it is not.  I will be seen now by a Neurosurgeon at a hospital some 25 miles from here where they specialise in this kind of thing.  I will also have another MRI with contrast dye.  He says it is extremely rare apparently.  Cool!  I like to be "special"!  None of this run of the mill shit for me!  No Sir-ee Bob!  I ask is there anything I can do about the pain and am given some tablets to take in the meantime.  These, I'm told, will "mask" the neurological pains and numbness of the Paresthesia but won't actually cure it.  OK.  Thank you muchly.  I leave the room.

I feel strangely calm.  Looking back I can see the news hadn't yet sunk in.  I don't think it has yet to be honest.  My hubby is waiting as promised in the reception area.  I smile and walk slowly towards him (slow is my middle name now lol) with prescription in hand.  He asks if I'm OK and I say "yup, just need to go downstairs and get this prescritption babe".  So off we go.  He asks what my results say.  I can't tell him here.  I mean, I'M fine but will HE be fine if I tell him this in the middle of a busy pharmacy whilst awaiting my new prescription?  I tell him I'd rather talk about it in the car.  We wait for my prescription and I wonder how to phrase it to him.  I can't find the right words.  No matter how I try to put it in my head the only words I can seem to notice are B R A I N  T U M O U R.  We get in the car and he goes to drive off.  I ask him to put the handbrake on for a moment (I didn't think telling him whilst mobile would be the best idea considering he'd been in two accidents already today lol!) and there it is.  I've told him.  I seem to have a brain tumour.  


  1. A great start Clare. I like it,I like it,I like it,I like it,I like it,....
    Love to you....

  2. Hi Clare, I'm Alane, your dad knows me through blog land as the vaguely wacky woman in Colorado. Pleased to 'emeet' you and I wish it was under better circumstances.

    Hey, let's start with the cheery stuff and then move on to the plucky stuff, shall we? You write very well and engagingly. You're funny and I can easily see some similarities to your dad.

    And you had just about the worst day ever, didn't you? Seriously, back in college we did a play for a drama class that was written by one of the grad students and it was entitled something like Prudence Hardcote and the Truly Terrible Day and yeah, you beat her by a mile. That was more like "Pru gets fired, dumped and peed on by a stray dog...all in the same day."

    You had a worse day than the fictional Pru of yore But I hope things soon improve and I believe they will. I was just telling your dad that my exhusband and my son's father(I'm married to someone else now) had a massive brain tumor when he was eleven...benign also, and aside from being (in unrelated news) something of a twerp at times, he's a darned healthy twerp to this day after it was removed.

    I will be thinking you very, very good, healing thoughts.

    Post whenever you can, but know you are thought of and about. Take heart and know that you'll be getting international vibes!

    Be well.

  3. Clare, hi. I would've say something smart and soothing, but Alane (Land of Shimp) says it all, and so much better than I ever could. I can not say I know what you are feeling, because probably no one except you can, but please know that you are thought about in a tiny country of Slovenia as well. Everything will be well. It simply must be.

  4. Echoing the thoughts of my fellow bloggers: Clare, you write wonderfully well, and I hope you continue to post blogs. I also hope you continue in well health, and I am sending you blessings to help you along the way from down here in SW France.

  5. Hello from Ohio! Well, you have your father's sense of humor, that's for sure LOL. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but as long as you write about it I'll be along for the ride. And I'm adding you to my prayer list.

  6. Wow! This is surreal :) I just logged on to see if I could attempt to add a new post before my vision goes double again and am greeted by such lovely comments! Thank you all so much! I'm 100% new to this blogging lark so please ignore what I do wrong hehe! Also, there will undoubtedly be numerous typos as it takes me sooooo long just to type out a couple of paragraphs just now due to my vision problems. Anyway, welcome aboard my crazy blog - I hope you enjoy the ride! *hugs* Clare x